Hi wonderful people,
Over the years, I’ve started hearing more and more about the 5 love languages. They are quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, and acts of service. How we show love to each other tends to be categorized into one of these categories. I’m not a relationship expert by any means. However, I do feel like showing love in each of these languages is so important in creating a loving relationship. I personally am a words of affirmation and quality time girl, but that doesn’t mean I don’t also want to be shown love in all of the languages.
I think the thing that a lot of us may struggle with in a relationship is showing our partner love in their preferred love languages. We sometimes go into default mode for how we naturally show love. For instance, if yours is gift giving and your partners is quality time, they might not feel truly loved unless you prioritze showing them love through quality time. Of course, don’t forget to acknowledge any acts of love your partner shows you because the effort is important as well.
I hope this post gives you some ideas on how to show love to your partner is all ways! Let’s get into the post!
Words of Affirmation
As a big words of affirmation girly, I can definitely give some insight on this one. Compliments throughout the day are huge. Sometimes, we forget to share what we think about each other in fear of sounding repetitive or taking meaning away from the compliment. It’s nice to have that reassurance that your partner still thinks all the wonderful things about you that made them fall in love with you in the first place. Here are some of my favorite ways of showing love through words of affirmation:
- Just because letters
- I love handwritten letters. There’s something so romantic about my partner taking the time to sit down and write out something thoughtful for me. I love having his sweet thoughts in a tangible form to cherish forever. Might be corny for some, but I just love everything about it.
- Leave surprise notes
- Who doesn’t love a sweet surprise note? You can leave a little note of encouragement or compliments somewhere for them to find. I love hiding notes in their car, hoodie pockets, or just anywhere I know they’d eventually see it. Such an easy way to make someone’s day.
- Send a sweet text
- Sometimes it’s nice to receive a thoughtful text just out of the blue. My boyfriend and I don’t really text much throughout the day, but seeing a text just saying how much I’m loved and appreciated never fails to make my day.
Quality Time
I am also a quality time type of girl. I had done long distance in the past, which makes quality time so much more important to me. As much as I love scrolling on our phones on the couch together or doing our own thing in the same space, it’s nice to spend some intentional time together. I have some date ideas you guys could try out here! Here are some other ideas you could try out, too:
- Run errands together
- This is something Jody (my boyfriend) and I do pretty often. Sometimes, we’ll do something as simple as go grocery shopping together. It makes doing little chores like this so much more fun when you get to do it with your significant other.
- Plan a special date night
- I love going on date nights where we dress up and are away from the distraction of our phones and anything else going on in our lives. We get to sit and talk about our how our week was. It allows us to be in each other’s presence and reminds us why we love spending time with each other.
- Share a hobby together
- Jody has been skiing pretty much his whole life. Recently, I started getting into snowboarding, which is so fun because we can be up on the mountain together. Sharing a hobby is such a great way to spend quality time with each other because you are actively learning something and experiencing it together.
Physical Touch
I’ve actually really grown to love physical touch. I feel like a common misconception is that physical touch means that it’s sexual in some way, whcih is not at all the case! These are just a nonverbal way of showing reassurance and affection. I’m not a physical touch all day type of person, but I love the sweet gestures while we’re out and about or when it’s just the two of us at home. Below are some of my favorite ways of being shown physical touch:
- Random hugs
- I think it’s sweet when my boyfriend will give me random hugs from behind when we’re doing everyday things like making dinner or brushing our teeth. I’d say neither of us are really physical touch people, but hugs release all the feel-good hormones (oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine). This definitely helps bring us closer together.
- Cuddle while watching a movie or show
- I love a good cuddle while we’re watching a movie. Often times, I end up falling asleep so fast because of how at ease cuddling someone can make you feel. We get so busy sometimes that it’s nice to just sit and be with each other.
- Kisses on the cheek or forehead
- I absolutely love a good kiss on the cheek or forehead. As you can probably tell, I’m not a big PDA person. However, I think there is something so sweet about my boyfriend giving me an innocent forehead kiss or kiss on the cheek when we’re out to still show me affection in some way.
Receiving Gifts
Another misconception I feel like people have when it comes to the 5 love languages is that receiving gifts means you’re materialistic. I don’t think this is the case at all! There is a way to show love in a thoughtful and intentional way through tangible objects. It doesn’t have to be anything big or expensive. Here are some ideas on how to give gifts to someone intentionally:
- Thinking of You Gifts
- I feel so loved when a loved one tells me that they “saw this and thought of me” when gifting me something. It shows that you are important to them, and it is such an easy way to show affection. It can be something as small as a little snack at the store that they know I love, and I always feel so appreciated and thought of.
- Make a list of things they like as you’re out together or things they’ve been needing
- Some of the best gifts are when you buy something you know they’ve been needing/wanting, but they never think to buy it for themself. I try to take note whenever they talk about something along those lines or anything they show interest in. That way, I always have ideas ready for birthdays or just because gifts!
- Handmade gifts
- Handmade gifts will always hold a special place in my heart. My heart melts knowing that they took the time to create something for me just because they have so much love for me. I try to make handmade gifts when I can just because everyone deserves to feel that love at least once in their life.
Acts of Service
I tend to be hyper-independent in the sense where I never want to depend on anyone to do something for me. However, after dating my boyfriend, I realized how nice it is to have someone help me out every once in a while. Just because I can do it myself doesn’t mean I have to. I have a hard time just sitting and relaxing, so having a boyfriend that helps me so selflessly is so wonderful. Here are some examples of that:
- Help them out with chores
- One act of service I’ll never forget is when I was sick one week, and Jody drove over to my place just so he can fill my car with gas for me. He will also help me with chores I don’t like such as doing the dishes or taking the trash out, which honestly takes a load of my plate. As a hyper-independent girl, this is a love language I’ve grown to really appreciate as well.
- Make them a nice meal/pick up food for them
- There are some days where I genuinely don’t have the motivation to cook. Jody never fails to make/pick me up food when I have those days. Food is a necessity!! So, I feel loads of love when he takes the time to do this for me so selflessly.
- Letting me be a passenger princess
- I have such a love/hate relationship with driving. I tend to have anxiety whenever I drive. Jody will drive pretty much 99% of the time, while I get to sit in the passenger seat and just enjoy the car ride. This may seem really small, but it takes such a load of my shoulders.
The more I learned about the 5 love languages, the more I realized how much they overlap! There are so many ways to show your partner you love them. It doesn’t have to be expensive or overly time consuming. All it really takes is being thoughtful and intentional with your gestures. I feel like this is something that’s alwasy a work in progress. However, keeping it in the back of our minds helps so much in making each other feel the most loved we can. I hope there was something on this post that resonated with you today! I’ll see you on the next one <3